"Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?' "And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."
Matt 18:32-35 (NASB)
I have been hurt many times: the Christmas when I didn’t get the toy I wanted, the afternoon I moved from away my friends, the night when my girlfriend broke up with me, the day a woman sat in my office and told me I was the worst Christian she has ever seen, the evening when a committee of men threatened my family, and multiple times more. But I find an interesting thing takes place in these circumstances; I find the strength waiting for me to continue on and to forgive. Then I feel a curious sensation accompanying this question: “what if I don’t WANT to forgive?”
What about that? The strength to forgive is waiting for me. I can be healed and grow. But what if I LIKE to be angry with someone? What if I LIKE to chain that person up in my heart and hold them there, torturing them with my every thought? What if I LIKE to see them agonizing in my mind because of the anger I feel toward them? What if, instead of simply imagining, I actually try to punish them by talking about them, writing about them; manipulating every thought until I am convinced that they deserve the punishment I have given them???
Listen again to Jesus’ words: “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you [handing you over to the torturers], if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
I heard a pastor speak about forgiveness in this manner. He said that the heart was a place from which to love, not a place in which to imprison someone.
Think about this verse:
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. Romans 12:19 (NASB)
If you punish a person in your heart or mind or if you take action against them either by word or deed, you have interfered where God wants to intervene. On the other hand, if you forgive them and love them and pray for them, then the Lord can work in their life and you can grow in yours. Just remember, the strength to forgive is waiting for you, if only you will lay aside your pride and take it.